


Secret Santa

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Firefly
Genre: Community: whedonland, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8394502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Short crack fic for whedonland, prompt "Gift Mix up"





	

Simon sat on the bed heavily and stared at the offending item. He'd known this whole thing was a bad idea.

He'd expected Mal to censor it as soon as it came out of Kaylee's mouth, but maybe it was the look on Shepherd Bush's face, or maybe it was some vestigial amount of festive spirit left in the captain's soul, or maybe Mal just thought it would a fun exercise in making everyone uncomfortable, but somehow the veto hadn't happened.

"It'll be fun," Kaylee had said brightly. "There'll be lights, and candles, and food, and the Shepherd can say a prayer, and we'll open gifts."

Simon had looked to Mal with hope but Mal had said, "Okay, but I'm not organising it. I'll show up and do my part, but I'm not chasing any turkeys, nor geese. You remember what happened last time."

Unfortunately Simon never got to hear what happened last time (he was sure there was some Mal related embarrassment to be had there, too) because Wash said, "Gifts? Plural?"

There had some economic debate and that might have put a stop to the idea instead, except River had smiled and said, "Secret Santa."

And now Simon had found himself buying a gun belt for Zoë, and had been the recipient of the largest jumper in the 'verse.

"Come on, Doc, we're waiting on you to start the feast," Mal bellowed.

Resigned, Simon slipped the sweater on. It hung loose about his shoulders and draped almost to his knees. He headed to the dining area. Inara put one hand to her mouth in shock, and River laughed out loud.

Kaylee almost dropped her wine glass. "Oh, no, I think I got the gifts mixed up!"

"You think?" Mal opened his hand to reveal delicate sapphire earrings. "Because I'm not sure these are my colour."

There was some kerfuffle as everyone exchanged their gifts for the correct ones. Jayne, in relief, pulled the perfectly fitting sweater on, and handed Simon a packet.

"Glad it's not mine," Jayne said.

Simon peeked in the wrapping and blushed crimson, as did Kaylee.

"Not that I couldn't use it," Jayne felt compelled to add.

"It was a joke," Kaylee whispered. "And it's, um, strawberry flavoured."

"Less a joke than a hint, then," Wash said and earned a harsh glare from his wife.

Simon slipped the tube in his pocket and cleared his throat, determined to change the subject. "Does anyone know 'Deck the Halls'?" he asked.

Jayne, mind still the gutter, said, "I know 'Jingle Balls'".

"You mean bells," Inara corrected.

"No," Jayne said. "No, I really don't."


End file.
